Silence is golden
by Quick'nSilver
Summary: The nightmare was gone for a long time, but now it started haunting Mitobe's mind again. All Koganei wanted was to help his best friend, to understand, but all he got was silence. Will Mitobe find a way out of this voiceless world? And will their friendship deepen, or break and shatter?
1. Chapter 1

Note: Kuroko no Basuke and all characters belong to Fujimaki-sensei. Please keep in mind that this is only my version of why Mitobe does not speak. Also English is not my native language but my friend beta read this. If you still find some mistakes, please tell me! I'm always open for any critics. Enough of me, enjoy the first chapter. (this is my first fanfiction and I'm kind of nervous)

A silent scream escaped his lips together with a small gasp when the teen woke up from his dream. He sat up in his bed, sweating, trying hard to calm down. Why was he dreaming this again now? The nightmare had disappeared for some time. Mitobe sighed, nearly inaudible, while he slowly put both feet on the ground and got up. After taking a shower and changing into his uniform, preparing breakfast for the whole family was his task. He loved cooking and he never thought of it as an annoyance. While cooking, the boy could distract himself from the nightmare he had before. Mitobe just didn't want to think about it now. If possible, he'd avoid thinking about it forever. But it wasn't and he knew that.

The oldest of his sisters always kindly helped him out with setting the table. Even though Mitobe made sure to prepare lots of different dishes, it would always turn into a battle for some favourite food. Right now, the twins were fighting for the last crocket and Mitobe couldn't help but smile. He tried calming them down and then split the crocket in half. Another argument solved, like every morning.

After packing his lunch box into his school bag, Rinnosuke waved goodbye to his siblings and left for school. Because of morning training he always left first. He stopped at the crossroad and looked to his sides. Normally, Koganei would already be there. They always met at the same spot to walk the rest of the way together. Mitobe waited, since he knew Koga would have contacted him if he couldn't come for any reason. Right then, he saw the brown haired boy running towards him in a hurry. "Sorry! It's just.. I kinda forgot we had homework due for today! I tried finishing them this morning, haha.. did you wait long?" Mitobe smiled slightly and shook his head. It were just five minutes or something, nothing worth mentioning.

They both kept walking after that, Koganei still talking about how hard the homework was and then telling his friend he found a new game that was really good. Rinnosuke always enjoyed listening to him. In terms of talking, Koga was the complete opposite of him. He talked enough for two people. But Mitobe liked that and with a smile and a slight nod or movement, Koganei would know what he wanted to say. "I'll lend the game to you when I finished it, okay? Ah, but the last boss is reeeeaaally hard!"

...

After they arrived at school they went to the gym for morning training. Riko had finished another hellish training plan for them. Running laps around the whole school ground was just the warm up. Swiping some sweat off his forehead, Mitobe took a deep breath. Somehow he couldn't concentrate well. His mind started wandering off to the thing he wanted to avoid: his nightmare. Why now? Training should help him not thinking about it, right? He shook his head hoping the bad thoughts would leave with that.

The struggle continued throughout the day and Mitobe had trouble paying attention to the lessons. He knew it was something he couldn't blame anyone else for. It were his thoughts, it was his mind, he needed to take control of it again. During lunch time, Rinnosuke was more silent than usually, if that was even possible. At least Koganei realized that his friend lacked the usual reactions to what he was telling him. "You alright? Or does the subject bore you? You know, you could always tell me what you want to talk about." Mitobe frowned for a second but regained his usual soft smile after that. He waved his hand as to say he was fine and also indicating the subject was alright, too. Worrying his friend because of this was something the silent boy didn't want to do. It was his personal problem. "Hmm.. alright then.." Koga seemed to accept his answer.

Even at the training after school, Mitobe wasn't really feeling better. He tried hard to not show anything. They did a practise match against each other. Mitobe was in a team with Kagami, Hyuga, Furihata and Koganei. Being in a team with Koga made him happy but even when they were in seperated teams, they always gave their best. Rinnosuke still had a hard time staying concentrated. He slightly bit his lip to stay focused on the game. His mind wandering off now would be the worst. Koganei passed to him and he made his signature hook shot and it went in with no trouble. They high fived and smiled.

Mitobe calmed down after that shot. Maybe the thoughts were gone now. Maybe it was just for a few hours and now they disappeared in the middle of training. Of course this was more of a wishful thinking. Furihata was clumsily storming forward with the ball, being followed by Kuroko who was ready to steal it. He saw Mitobe being wide open, with no one guarding him right now. He passed to him but tripped a little. "Sorry Mitobe-senpai!" The pass was a little too high.

Darkness. Scary eyes and darkness... Just for a second, the nightmare was back again. It was just for a small moment but it was enough for Mitobe to freeze completely. As he realized the ball was coming right at his face, it was already too late to stop it. A loud smacking sound was heard and the boy stumbled backwards a few steps from the impact. "Mitobe-kun!" "Mitobe!" "Senpai!" He could hear his teammates voices but his vision went black. Kagami had catched him before he fell. They carried him over to the bank and layed him down.

It was dark again. Mitobe could feel a throbbing pain in his head. He knew he wasn't sleeping right now, so it wasn't a dream. If he wasn't dreaming, why could he see those eyes again? A stare that could look right through him. Rinnosuke couldn't stand it. His head shook to the side where the ball had hit him. Feeling the sharp pain he forced his eyes to open. Riko was looking at him with a worried expression. Though it faded a little as he woke up. "Idiot! Don't worry us like that!" She exclaimed and pinched his sides a bit. Mitobe had to rest till the end of the training. There was no visible wound on his head, but the impact was quite hard. Riko told him to see a doctor if he started feeling dizzy or sick. The teen nodded and made sure to express that he was feeling alright. It was just the normal pain after the hit.

Koganei still insisted on walking his friend home. Something was definetly wrong with him. Mitobe was always focused on the court. He would never miss a ball heading directly his way. When they arrived at Mitobe's home, Koga stopped him before he could open the door. "You know if anything is bothering you, you can tell me. Also if you're not feeling well tomorrow just text me. I'll tell the teachers. Alright?" Mitobe didn't move. He knew Koganei was his friend. He knew friends talk about problems. But this was something else. Something that he didn't even personally share with his parents. Of course they had a right to know and were informed about it by his doctor. Koga still looked at him waiting for any kind of reaction. Mitobe just nodded hesitantly and waved him a short goodbye before he turned around and entered his home.

A sigh went out of his lips. Maybe he should call in sick tomorrow. Seeing his doctor might help him. Mitobe was offered to eat dinner with his siblings, but he declined. Right now he wasn't feeling hungry and so he went straight to bed. And there he was, lying awake, too scared to sleep. Yes, he should see his doctor. It was all gone for so long and now it returned so suddenly that the teen wasn't able to handle it on his own.

Koga was on his way home and couldn't stop thinking about his friend's reaction. This wasn't him. All day long his behavior was just weird. But he insisted that he was fine. Why wouldn't he talk to him? Weren't they best friends? This was the first time that Mitobe's silence really agitated him. Koganei had heard that Mitobe was physically able to speak. So why wouldn't he? Just for that, for telling his friend about a problem that is obviously bothering him.. It really made him angry and it hurt him at the same time.


	2. Chapter 2

Note: Whoops.. well, a lot of stuff happened in RL, so updating this fic was not really a priority. I'll be trying my best to update more recently! This chapter is NOT beta read, so please excuse any mistakes. :) You're free to point them out, of course. Thanks a lot!

A loud beeping noise indicated that it was time to get up. Mitobe sighed as he turned off the alarm. Even though he went to bed early last night, he didn't get any sleep. Too scared of nightmares, Rinnosuke just tried to rest without sleeping.

The teen got up and took a shower first. He usually loved a good hot shower and it helped him to calm his mind. Not today, though. After preparing breakfast for everyone and eating at least a little, Mitobe took his phone to text Koga.

Going to the doctor. See you tomorrow.

Rinnosuke didn't have to wait long for a whole bunch of replies. Koganei asked him if he still had a headache, if he needed any help, if he's sure he'll be back by tomorrow... A smile appeared on his face. Even while texting, Koga still talked a lot. Mitobe just answered with an emoticon. There wasn't really much he could answer him anyway.

Two hours later the teen was standing before a white painted house. He read the sign on the left of the entrance: "Dr. Wanijima Konyo, psychologist – depth psychology expert" Mitobe entered through the door, giving the lady at the counter a friendly nod.

"Mitobe-kun, long time no see. The doctor received your e-mail. He is free right now, go on ahead." the lady exclaimed with a soft smile on her face. Rinnosuke gestured her a thanks before he went ahead to the doctor's office. The teen hesitated for a minute before he knocked once and entered the room.

"Good day, Mitobe-kun. Sit down." the doctor greeted him, sitting on an armchair besides a big window. Mitobe sat down as he was told, across to Dr. Konyo. He hasn't been here since middle school. "Since you're here, I guess you're not feeling well?" the older man asked, Rinnosuke nodded in response.

"Didn't Basketball help you to get rid of your negative thoughts and nightmares? Did you stop the sport?" The teen shook his head, it was true that Basketball had helped him a lot back then. He was able to concentrate on the sport, to use all his power for it and could have a good, sound sleep. But now it just suddenly changed, without a warning.

Mitobe wrote something down, since the doctor wasn't as good in understanding him with just gestures like Koga was. The man read the paper, looked up to the teen and put the paper back on the table between them. "I see, so it just returned? And your speaking ability still hasn't improved, as I can hear..or not hear, to be correct." Rinnosuke nodded twice, making a sad face at the second question.

It's true. He was able to speak like normally, before this happened. It's not like Mitobe ever spoke much, he was always rather the silent type, but he could use his voice. He was able to call out to his parents, to answer the teacher, very shyly, but at a noticeable volume. Back in grade school, everything was still fine.

"Listen, Mitobe, there must be a reason for this sudden change. Did anything change in your life? Is there too much stress maybe? Or something else that makes you feel bad?" Dr. Konyo asked, concerned. The teen thought about it for some minutes before he shook his head. It's not too stressy for him, nothing drastic had changed or anything. But did something make him feel bad? He couldn't really come up with something.

The doctor sighed, Rinnosuke really wasn't an easy patient. When he was assigned to him, Mitobe was six years old. His parents told him that the boy was out too late one evening and when he returned, he seemed badly terrified of something and didn't speak a word. It was a complete mystery what had happened.

It took some time to find out what the kid had gone through that evening. Mitobe had suffered from nightmares since then and lost his voice. It was a case of total mutism, an illness that can occur after a traumatic shock. Mitobe is able to speak, physically, but every time he opens his mouth, no sound would come out. It's like a blockade that you just can't cross, no matter how hard you'd try.

He has been in therapy since then, though, since his overall condition had gotten better after joining the basketball club in middle school, Mitobe's visits became sparse. They agreed that, if anything changed, Rinnosuke should come by on his own. Mitobe hoped he would be able to speak again after the nightmares had stopped, but his voice was the only thing that still hadn't returned.

"Well, give yourself some time to think about it. Is there really nothing that is troubling you? Maybe you've fallen in love, it's normal for your age. Sometimes you're in love and haven't realized it until now. Come back in a few days, okay?" Mitobe blushed noticeably. In love? Him? That really was the last option he had thought about, probably because he didn't want to think about it.

The doctor gave him some light sleeping pills before they parted again, because Mitobe looked the same as he felt, completely drained and tired. He was told to rest for the day. Rinnosuke's thoughts were still at what the doctor said last. He couldn't think of anyone. Maybe?

The teen shook his head as the thought of his best friend came to mind. No, they were friends. Sure, they were best friends, they were normally glued together like they were inseparable, but that's all. Koga helped him a lot in school and training, since he talked for him. And his friend had never asked of anything in return. Mitobe sometimes made snacks for him or brought him a bento, but that wasn't much compensation.

His thoughts went on while on his way home and even though he was told to rest, Mitobe lied in his bed awake again. There was more that Koga did for him. Much more. He talked to him normally, he smiled at him, he made Rinnosuke smile too, he cared for him... Why did the teen never really appreciated all of this? He just took it as a given, at least after a while.

It was getting late and Mitobe didn't want to spend another sleepless night, so he took two of the pills for a good, steady sleep. He realized overthinking stuff wouldn't make him feel better at the moment and he really needed that rest. There would still be plenty of time to think about it tomorrow.

After two beeping sounds, a hand found it's way to the alarm clock to turn it off. The black haired teen arose from his sleep. No nightmares, no weird thoughts. He felt quite good and well rested. With a little stretch, he began his morning routine and went off to school.

"You alright again?" Koganei asked when they met on the way, as always. Mitobe nodded with a slight smile. But it was Koga he had to worry about. His friend looked kind of hurt, it was right there in his eyes, after a big smile let it disappear. So Rinnosuke gestured if his friend was okay too. Did something happen?

"I'm fine. I mean well... it's just.. I thought there was more than just a headache you had. Like something is really bothering you. The way you acted two days ago was kinda strange." The brown haired said thoughtfully. Mitobe stood still all of a sudden. Was it that obvious?

He looked a little frightened, not sure how to react. Rinnosuke just couldn't mention his troubles, so he just shook his head and tried to convince him that he was fine. Lying to his friend really wasn't something he wanted to do. The teen felt bad for doing so. But it was too hard to tell him the truth, he wanted to forget it, not remember it.

Koganei smiled, slightly first, then wider. "If you say so, I'm glad you're okay." It was hard to believe him. Koganei just wanted to believe, he wanted to trust him. Mitobe would never lie to him, right? The thought of his best friend not being truthfully to him came to his mind. The feeling of broken trust stung in his heart. When Mitobe smiled back at him, he waved the thought away. No, his friend wouldn't lie to him.

Note:

About mutism: it's a disorder, the most known form is selective mutism, where the person who is normally capable of speech does not speak in specific situations or to specific people. Total mutism is a very rare form, where the person isn't able to speak to anyone or in any situation at all. It can be caused due to a trauma. As I said before, this is just my version of Mitobe's silence. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!


End file.
